Somber anniversary

It was a year ago today that Karen had the surgery that led to the diagnosis of ovarian cancer. It is one of those days forever etched in my memory: seeing her off into surgery feeling confident that this tumor would be gone; an excruciating three and a half hour wait before my pager goes off. Up to a conference room where I met Dr. Argenta. The words that changed our lives forever started with "the news I have is not good". Then a few hours later, as Karen awakened, telling her what no husband ever wants to tell his wife: They found cancer. Watching her sob helplessly as she said she wouldn't live to see our daughters' weddings. Making the phone calls to family and friends, hearing their crying. Taking our daughters to see her that night.

Nobody should live through that.

A year later, Karen remains in remission. For this I am thankful. Everyone says life is a gift. I would add to that: it's a gift given to us daily. None of us is entitled to tomorrow. We go day by day in faith in Christ and love one another - not easy, but better than the alternatives.

Good things have come out of this: closer relationships with Karen's sister, with my sisters and brother, new closesness with many other relatives, a new depth in our faith, a deeper appreciation for each day, but also a sense of urgency about planning for the future - a hard thing to do when just staying fed and keeping gas in the car is made more difficult (e-mail me at soulwise@msn.com if you're curious as to whom I think is to blame for these problems in all of our lives).

You have prayed us through so much, and I've prayed for all of you who have asked me. A year later, we ask for your prayers in keeping a steady income coming in. This battle has cost us a great deal - add to this my career battles as a glittering real estate career took a nosedive - but we face each day and work to support our families. Please keep this in your prayers for us. And of course for Karen's ongoing healing. If Karen is less worried about income, she is less stressed. Cancer and stress go hand in hand.

Thank you again for prayers, support, love, and encouragement. All our love to you.

John Jacobsen
(with Karen and the girls)

Been a while

It has been since later in June that I've updated the blog. In the world of cancer, no news is good news. We do have some prayer needs and concerns we'd like to share with you in the time being.

Karen is looking for gainful part time employment. Our daughters Kylie and Shelby are both in dance and ice skating respectively. Dance lessons, ice time, etc can run $500.00 a month. Please pray for God's provision of a part time job to cover these expenses. Additionally, I'm keeping my eyes open for other work opportunities. The project I was on at Allianz stretched out seven months. They may need me back for another - but not sure when that will be. Please pray for God's continued steady and providing Hand to guide us. He always has in the past, even when the road has become rocky. And He provided through many of you. We will always be grateful.

Karen has been having some pain lately. It appears to be related to a post-surgical hernia she developed. Pray for relief from the pain. Nothing is worse for me than seeing my wife in pain and wanting to do something about it. She goes back to the OBGYN/oncologist for more tests in October.

A verse deep in my memory came to the surface yesterday - Romans 10:11, "...whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed" (NASV). Even if our circumstances in life disappoint or are downright upsetting, God never is. Wrap yourself in His love.

And read my sister Marilyn's blog - it's awesome! http://meowylyn.blogspot.com

John J

GOOD NEWS!!!!

Today we received test results back from Karen's first non-chemotherapy influenced blood work. The most important test, the CA-125, came back at 4.8.

Yes, 4.8!

What does this mean? CA-125 is the protein that develops in response to cancer activity. The "normal" range for this test is up to 30. The last two times this test was done, it was at a 5 - and Karen's doctor told her it is unusual for it to never get that low. This time, it went even lower.

This is a victory, but it's the first of many times we will sweat it waiting for these results. Ovarian cancer has a very high recurrence and is quite insidious. A battle has been won, but we're still engaged in war.

And we have the best prayer warriors out there.

THANK YOU!

Dealing with the ever-present fear - and prayer requests

Hi friends and family: Our family continues to feel the constant prayers and concerns you have surrounded us with. We remain thankful.

Yesterday Karen went for blood work in anticipation of her June 30 doctor appointment. These appointments are quarterly. This one we're particularly concerned about because it will be her first appointment without the influence or benefit of chemotherapy. The CA125 test is the most critical one, as it measures the protein that responds to cancer activity. We're aware it could go up and that this doesn't necessarily mean the beast has returned. But we are worried. Please keep us in prayer.

WE WANT THIS GONE! Cancer is something that always lurks in the background. Yes, you go on with the demands of everyday life because you have to. We could go on and on about how we're too young, too busy, too this, too that to be dealing with this, but that would be whiny. God has put this in our lives. We can't even say it's not fair, because God is always fair. We just don't see or understand this.

But we still want this gone!!!

Please keep us in prayer. Please continue to keep our home refi situation in prayer as well.

God is good, and we see evidence of this every day. He is faithful and will bring everything to pass.

A long awaited update - and a prayer request

We send greetings to our family and friends. Please forgive the infrequent updates to this blog. In the world of cancer, this is often a good thing. It means we don't have any bad news. We're deeply aware of the insidiousness of this disease and that it could recur at any time. Your prayers remain pivotal in this constant battle. Cancer is a chronic disease and ovarian cancer has a very high recurrence rate. Though the odds are unfavorable, God is bigger than the odds. We remind ourselves of this daily.

Karen has been busy, busy, busy and gains more energy by the day. She has been busy with a renovation project updating a bathroom and adding an office to our lower level and going with Kylie to dance recital rehearsals this week. Her hair is a short blondish bob, slightly shorter than my hair. She says she still feels bald because her hair was once so long (scroll down to the photo and you'll see how long and beautiful it was). With all we've been through, the biggest tragedy has been the loss of her hair. Yes it'll grow back...but until you've been there, you can't imagine. Wigs don't cut it. They itch and look unnatural.

I continue to work two positions right now - not easy, but I enjoy the work at both and that is a motivator that makes me forget how tired I feel sometimes. Our financial situation has improved considerably, but still need your prayers - we have five more weeks to find new financing for our home of 14 years. God has been very gracious about this and many prayers have already been answered. Please storm the gates of heaven on our behalf in this situation, which while it causes distress, we also have a peace about it.

Sometime in June Karen goes in for the first blood work that has not been influenced by chemotherapy. Last night we talked and got teary eyed thinking "what if the CA-125 rises?" I would give up everything I have for this to never, ever come back. Nobody, though, has that kind of control. Of everything that has come my way in life, this has been the one thing I can't control. Still, in the midst of this, you find Christ and His comfort. His peace becomes more and more real in our darkest struggles.

Thank you again for prayer support and all the love you have shown us. Rejoice in our God's goodness and provision!

Rainy April days in Minnesota

First of all, please forgive me for not updating this blog very much lately. My family and I have been preoccupied with the memorial blog for my mother, which you can find at http://rememberingsharon.blogspot.com. Your kind words and cards have meant so much to me in the last month since my mother died.

Karen is a little stronger every day and looking better. We've been told it takes about a year for one's body to get completely back to normal. Chemotherapy kills so many cells. We're trying to replenish them by drinking mangosteen juice, which has 500 x the antioxidants that the same serving of orange juice contains (e-mail me if you want more information about this at soulwise@msn.com). Her fingertips are numb and Karen has to call on me or the girls to open jars, for example. Some hair is returning...it's almost as long as my hair was at its shortest. Karen will go to the doctor every three months and see what the CA-125 is doing. She maintains the no-sugar diet.

In the meantime, we are meeting many others whose lives are being affected by cancer. While we were out to dinner about a month ago, a lady approached Karen and asked her if she were battling cancer. It turns out she had just been diagnosed a couple months before with bone cancer. While the girls went out to the van to wait on us, Karen and I spent about 1/2 hr with her and her husband. In addition, a colleague of mine at Allianz was just diagnosed and I've been able to share our experiences with her. As Paul says in 2 Corinthians, God comforts us in our afflictions that we may comfort others.

Please keep our family in prayer as we face financial hurdles right now. I know in God all things are possible, so it's hard to get discouraged...that's why it's not wise to ever listen to the news. Gas and food prices are skyrocketing and making it hard for all of us to live. God has been good to us in so many ways and we're thankful. There is so much worldly noise to shut out.

God bless and thank you for being there for us.

Latest developments in the fight against cancer - and thank you

To those who have sent cards, e-mails, phone calls, and prayers for me and my family over Mom's death - thank you. Not a day goes by without tears. The wake was last Wednesday night the 26th and the funeral mass the following morning the 27th. A few hours after the burial, my sisters, brother and I selected a simple stone to mark her burial in Green Lake, Wisconsin. It will read "Sharon Jacobsen Darnick 1937 - 2008 Love you forever"

Another blog has been created in Mom's memory at http://rememberingsharon.blogspot.com.

This morning I arose very early to take Karen in for surgery - to remove the abdominal port, the one that you may recall was causing many of the problems last November. We were home by 10:00 am. Karen saw Dr. Argenta yesterday who was optimistic at the news of the CA125 going from a 6 to a 5. He informed her that most women never see the CA125 go down at all and for hers to have gone down to 5 is excellent progress. He also told her it will in all likelihood never go below that. I prayed all morning that the Lord would give Karen some good news - usually these doctor visits are very sobering. It was great to see Karen leave feeling encouraged.

Karen's strength is back. Her hair is beginning to come back, but those of you who remember how long it was (scroll down to the photo below) know that it will take a long time. We ask for prayer for discipline and strength to maintain the no-sugar diet. You would all be amazed at how easy it is to give up. I drank a Coke last week and felt sick afterwards - I learned later that my body had gotten used to not processing such huge amounts of sugar.

Thank you for prayers during this difficult and dark season of life. We're certainly ready for the sun to shine again. Faith, however, gets us through. To see the goodness of God in the midst of this storm is what faith is all about.