The road to stability

Hi all: I wanted to thank you for your prayers - I received a job offer from Kemper for a work-from-home claims position. The money is what our family needs and there are many other good benefits. God is so good! Of course I need to thank my sister Marilyn, who has worked for Kemper for several years and started this process by getting my resume into the right hands.

Karen's health remains good, by the grace of God. More blood work will follow just after Christmas. We'll keep you informed.

As Christmas draws near, let me share Isaiah 58:11 with you:

The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

Thank you again for your love and prayers. We will be in touch and this year, we may even do Christmas cards again.

In Christ

John Karen Kylie & Shelby

Family picture - we have survived

Here we are in a church family picture taken just a few weeks ago. Of course there is Karen in the front, and then (clockwise) Shelby, John, and Kylie. We're smiling, though it's been a very hard couple years. We're not out of the woods yet, but 1) cancer hasn't returned and 2) we're still in our home. Your prayers remain so important to us as we continue on this journey.

Please forgive that we don't update this more frequently. In the world of cancer, no news is good news, but I think with Christmas approaching in three and a half weeks and long gift lists emerging from our girls, it's time to keep the meaning of Christmas in perspective and I'll use this blog to put Advent postings. One of our pastors reminded us this morning that Advent is the beginning of the year for the church so shouted out "Happy New Year" to a crowd of rather disoriented Lutherans.

Whenever anyone asks me for prayer requests, of course the first one is praise that cancer has not returned. The next round of tests will be after Christmas. The next request is for stability. My work situation has been at best a roller coaster. I've had several interviews for a position with Kemper Insurance that I will ask you to keep in prayer. This would be a good situation for me and my family.

A lesson I'm still learning is how much fear controls our lives. There is much to be afraid of in life, no matter what we know. Even Jesus felt fear as He contemplated the cross before Him. I read a quote recently that is now on my bulletin board: Fear is the faith that it won't work out. Doesn't that say it all? God's safety net is monstrous compared to the little torn fishing nets I put out for myself. At age 46, I think I'm beginning to catch on.

We love hearing from any and all of you and feel free to e-mail at soulwise@msn.com or comment here.

God bless you all!

Prayer for our country

Hi everyone: With the election three weeks away, we are very concerned about the state of the US right now. The media is basically a big campaign commercial for one candidate...our choices are not that great...and we're witnessing the slow collapse and socialization of the American economy. Regardless of whom you are for, we are asking all of you to pray for this country right now during a very critical time. Tell everyone you know to pray for our country. And pray for whomever is elected president.

Update - MORE GOOD NEWS!

Karen's latest blood work has come back today. I was nosy and opened her mail, but was glad to be able to call Karen at work and tell her that the CA125 test, the benchmark test for determining if cancer has returned, was at 6.4. This is still way low!!! It's slightly up from where it was the last time, but not enough to be concerned. It's a matter of keeping it low.

Karen recently started part time work at a place in Edina that markets dietary supplements. She's getting quite an education there! It has been good for her to cut free from the house. Her hair is getting longer, darker, and wavy-er (sp?). She and I both miss the blond hair.

Your prayers have been appreciated throughout this episode of our lives. We need prayer over the course of the next few weeks for God's provision for staying in our current home. It's a complicated story I won't get into here, but God knows and He'll honor your prayers.

He is good!


John J

Somber anniversary

It was a year ago today that Karen had the surgery that led to the diagnosis of ovarian cancer. It is one of those days forever etched in my memory: seeing her off into surgery feeling confident that this tumor would be gone; an excruciating three and a half hour wait before my pager goes off. Up to a conference room where I met Dr. Argenta. The words that changed our lives forever started with "the news I have is not good". Then a few hours later, as Karen awakened, telling her what no husband ever wants to tell his wife: They found cancer. Watching her sob helplessly as she said she wouldn't live to see our daughters' weddings. Making the phone calls to family and friends, hearing their crying. Taking our daughters to see her that night.

Nobody should live through that.

A year later, Karen remains in remission. For this I am thankful. Everyone says life is a gift. I would add to that: it's a gift given to us daily. None of us is entitled to tomorrow. We go day by day in faith in Christ and love one another - not easy, but better than the alternatives.

Good things have come out of this: closer relationships with Karen's sister, with my sisters and brother, new closesness with many other relatives, a new depth in our faith, a deeper appreciation for each day, but also a sense of urgency about planning for the future - a hard thing to do when just staying fed and keeping gas in the car is made more difficult (e-mail me at soulwise@msn.com if you're curious as to whom I think is to blame for these problems in all of our lives).

You have prayed us through so much, and I've prayed for all of you who have asked me. A year later, we ask for your prayers in keeping a steady income coming in. This battle has cost us a great deal - add to this my career battles as a glittering real estate career took a nosedive - but we face each day and work to support our families. Please keep this in your prayers for us. And of course for Karen's ongoing healing. If Karen is less worried about income, she is less stressed. Cancer and stress go hand in hand.

Thank you again for prayers, support, love, and encouragement. All our love to you.

John Jacobsen
(with Karen and the girls)

Been a while

It has been since later in June that I've updated the blog. In the world of cancer, no news is good news. We do have some prayer needs and concerns we'd like to share with you in the time being.

Karen is looking for gainful part time employment. Our daughters Kylie and Shelby are both in dance and ice skating respectively. Dance lessons, ice time, etc can run $500.00 a month. Please pray for God's provision of a part time job to cover these expenses. Additionally, I'm keeping my eyes open for other work opportunities. The project I was on at Allianz stretched out seven months. They may need me back for another - but not sure when that will be. Please pray for God's continued steady and providing Hand to guide us. He always has in the past, even when the road has become rocky. And He provided through many of you. We will always be grateful.

Karen has been having some pain lately. It appears to be related to a post-surgical hernia she developed. Pray for relief from the pain. Nothing is worse for me than seeing my wife in pain and wanting to do something about it. She goes back to the OBGYN/oncologist for more tests in October.

A verse deep in my memory came to the surface yesterday - Romans 10:11, "...whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed" (NASV). Even if our circumstances in life disappoint or are downright upsetting, God never is. Wrap yourself in His love.

And read my sister Marilyn's blog - it's awesome! http://meowylyn.blogspot.com

John J

GOOD NEWS!!!!

Today we received test results back from Karen's first non-chemotherapy influenced blood work. The most important test, the CA-125, came back at 4.8.

Yes, 4.8!

What does this mean? CA-125 is the protein that develops in response to cancer activity. The "normal" range for this test is up to 30. The last two times this test was done, it was at a 5 - and Karen's doctor told her it is unusual for it to never get that low. This time, it went even lower.

This is a victory, but it's the first of many times we will sweat it waiting for these results. Ovarian cancer has a very high recurrence and is quite insidious. A battle has been won, but we're still engaged in war.

And we have the best prayer warriors out there.

THANK YOU!

Dealing with the ever-present fear - and prayer requests

Hi friends and family: Our family continues to feel the constant prayers and concerns you have surrounded us with. We remain thankful.

Yesterday Karen went for blood work in anticipation of her June 30 doctor appointment. These appointments are quarterly. This one we're particularly concerned about because it will be her first appointment without the influence or benefit of chemotherapy. The CA125 test is the most critical one, as it measures the protein that responds to cancer activity. We're aware it could go up and that this doesn't necessarily mean the beast has returned. But we are worried. Please keep us in prayer.

WE WANT THIS GONE! Cancer is something that always lurks in the background. Yes, you go on with the demands of everyday life because you have to. We could go on and on about how we're too young, too busy, too this, too that to be dealing with this, but that would be whiny. God has put this in our lives. We can't even say it's not fair, because God is always fair. We just don't see or understand this.

But we still want this gone!!!

Please keep us in prayer. Please continue to keep our home refi situation in prayer as well.

God is good, and we see evidence of this every day. He is faithful and will bring everything to pass.

A long awaited update - and a prayer request

We send greetings to our family and friends. Please forgive the infrequent updates to this blog. In the world of cancer, this is often a good thing. It means we don't have any bad news. We're deeply aware of the insidiousness of this disease and that it could recur at any time. Your prayers remain pivotal in this constant battle. Cancer is a chronic disease and ovarian cancer has a very high recurrence rate. Though the odds are unfavorable, God is bigger than the odds. We remind ourselves of this daily.

Karen has been busy, busy, busy and gains more energy by the day. She has been busy with a renovation project updating a bathroom and adding an office to our lower level and going with Kylie to dance recital rehearsals this week. Her hair is a short blondish bob, slightly shorter than my hair. She says she still feels bald because her hair was once so long (scroll down to the photo and you'll see how long and beautiful it was). With all we've been through, the biggest tragedy has been the loss of her hair. Yes it'll grow back...but until you've been there, you can't imagine. Wigs don't cut it. They itch and look unnatural.

I continue to work two positions right now - not easy, but I enjoy the work at both and that is a motivator that makes me forget how tired I feel sometimes. Our financial situation has improved considerably, but still need your prayers - we have five more weeks to find new financing for our home of 14 years. God has been very gracious about this and many prayers have already been answered. Please storm the gates of heaven on our behalf in this situation, which while it causes distress, we also have a peace about it.

Sometime in June Karen goes in for the first blood work that has not been influenced by chemotherapy. Last night we talked and got teary eyed thinking "what if the CA-125 rises?" I would give up everything I have for this to never, ever come back. Nobody, though, has that kind of control. Of everything that has come my way in life, this has been the one thing I can't control. Still, in the midst of this, you find Christ and His comfort. His peace becomes more and more real in our darkest struggles.

Thank you again for prayer support and all the love you have shown us. Rejoice in our God's goodness and provision!

Rainy April days in Minnesota

First of all, please forgive me for not updating this blog very much lately. My family and I have been preoccupied with the memorial blog for my mother, which you can find at http://rememberingsharon.blogspot.com. Your kind words and cards have meant so much to me in the last month since my mother died.

Karen is a little stronger every day and looking better. We've been told it takes about a year for one's body to get completely back to normal. Chemotherapy kills so many cells. We're trying to replenish them by drinking mangosteen juice, which has 500 x the antioxidants that the same serving of orange juice contains (e-mail me if you want more information about this at soulwise@msn.com). Her fingertips are numb and Karen has to call on me or the girls to open jars, for example. Some hair is returning...it's almost as long as my hair was at its shortest. Karen will go to the doctor every three months and see what the CA-125 is doing. She maintains the no-sugar diet.

In the meantime, we are meeting many others whose lives are being affected by cancer. While we were out to dinner about a month ago, a lady approached Karen and asked her if she were battling cancer. It turns out she had just been diagnosed a couple months before with bone cancer. While the girls went out to the van to wait on us, Karen and I spent about 1/2 hr with her and her husband. In addition, a colleague of mine at Allianz was just diagnosed and I've been able to share our experiences with her. As Paul says in 2 Corinthians, God comforts us in our afflictions that we may comfort others.

Please keep our family in prayer as we face financial hurdles right now. I know in God all things are possible, so it's hard to get discouraged...that's why it's not wise to ever listen to the news. Gas and food prices are skyrocketing and making it hard for all of us to live. God has been good to us in so many ways and we're thankful. There is so much worldly noise to shut out.

God bless and thank you for being there for us.

Latest developments in the fight against cancer - and thank you

To those who have sent cards, e-mails, phone calls, and prayers for me and my family over Mom's death - thank you. Not a day goes by without tears. The wake was last Wednesday night the 26th and the funeral mass the following morning the 27th. A few hours after the burial, my sisters, brother and I selected a simple stone to mark her burial in Green Lake, Wisconsin. It will read "Sharon Jacobsen Darnick 1937 - 2008 Love you forever"

Another blog has been created in Mom's memory at http://rememberingsharon.blogspot.com.

This morning I arose very early to take Karen in for surgery - to remove the abdominal port, the one that you may recall was causing many of the problems last November. We were home by 10:00 am. Karen saw Dr. Argenta yesterday who was optimistic at the news of the CA125 going from a 6 to a 5. He informed her that most women never see the CA125 go down at all and for hers to have gone down to 5 is excellent progress. He also told her it will in all likelihood never go below that. I prayed all morning that the Lord would give Karen some good news - usually these doctor visits are very sobering. It was great to see Karen leave feeling encouraged.

Karen's strength is back. Her hair is beginning to come back, but those of you who remember how long it was (scroll down to the photo below) know that it will take a long time. We ask for prayer for discipline and strength to maintain the no-sugar diet. You would all be amazed at how easy it is to give up. I drank a Coke last week and felt sick afterwards - I learned later that my body had gotten used to not processing such huge amounts of sugar.

Thank you for prayers during this difficult and dark season of life. We're certainly ready for the sun to shine again. Faith, however, gets us through. To see the goodness of God in the midst of this storm is what faith is all about.

SHARON JACOBSEN DARNICK 1937 - 2008

About an hour ago on this Easter Sunday 2008, my mother Sharon Jacobsen Darnick has gone to be with our Lord. She was welcomed there by Jesus, by the host of the heavenly angels, her parents, and many others. Her years of pain are over. She is at peace.

On this Easter Day, remember Who conquered death for us. Remember the One who made it possible for my mother, as well as each one of us, to live eternally.

Updates - and Easter greetings

Thank you for prayers for my mother. Though she was very close to death last Wednesday, with a doctor telling us to get into town because it looked like the end, she made it through the night and began to improve. After a few days in the hospital, she returned home. She has home health care nurses each day spending a few hours with her as well as hospice checking in on her each day. Because of the condition of her lungs it could be any time, but the imminent danger appears to be past.

Karen continues to gain more energy and is even looking at job opportunities again. Ovarian cancer is a chronic disease and it's a matter of keeping it away. In all likelihood, it will recur. We have faith. That - and changes we make in our lifestyles - is all any of us has control over.

We're spending Easter here with our dear friends the Sanders. Have a happy, safe, and enjoyable Easter.

Pray for Sharon Jacobsen Darnick

Good morning everyone: Yesterday my mother was unable to get out of bed in the morning. She was blue faced, with tremors and labored breathing. She was taken to St Agnes Hospital in Fond du Lac, WI. Her blood pressure had started dropping as well as her oxygen saturation. She is nearing the end. She is 70 years old.

Please pray for my mother, as well as for my sisters Laura and Marilyn, brother Jim, and myself as we face her death. For many reasons, this has been coming for a long time, but that doesn't make this any easier. I have the assurance of my mother's salvation and know when she does pass away, she will be free from the pain of this life.

Yesterday our daughter Shelby was baptized at our church, Prince of Peace Lutheran Church. In the midst of the death and disease we have been dealing with, to witness Shelby's baptism into God's family was a blessing and an encouragement.

Thank you all for being there for us in prayer.

John J

Marching into March - and don't forget to set your clocks ahead

We're now about four weeks out from Karen's final chemotherapy treatment. She is gaining energy back slowly and is becoming quite restless. Karen's not used to being sedentary. The hair will take a little longer to return. She's not ready to face the workforce just yet.

As for me, I start the position with the New York firm within the next couple weeks. I plan to remain at Allianz for the duration of the project I've been working on here, though on a part time basis. Your prayers for the next position and its financial success are appreciated, especially as we have a hole to dig out of. But I've got a good shovel!

We appreciate the ongoing prayer support and ask for it now as we encounter some March blues. March is a rather bleak month anyway (my apologies to anyone who has a birthday this month). So many friends of ours are taking trips for spring break. We're not going anywhere. Add to that the Minnesota weather - the cold spell certainly debunks any notions of global warming - and it's a recipe for depression. There have been way too many burdens, but I realize they are not ours to bear. God gives us rest - Matthew 11:28 - and this is what I have to keep coming back to.

We remain on a vigil. The odds aren't good as ovarian cancer recurs in 90% of the cases. If Karen can make it two years, she is most likely in that group that will conquer this disease. With every test, we'll be asking for your prayers.

Please pray also for my mother, Sharon Darnick, who saw her pulmonologist a couple weeks ago and has been diagnosed with lung cancer. She is nearing the end. Please keep me, my sisters, and brother in your prayers as we are very likely anticipating her death. She has been in hospice care since November and is at her home in Green Lake, WI. I anticipate going down to see her in the next couple weeks as well.

No matter what happens, God is still Lord of All. Be encouraged.

New chapter beginning

Hi all: I'll begin with good news: the New York company I've been talking to has extended an offer. We're negotiating, but it is looking like a go. Your persistent prayers made this possible and I thank each and every one of you. Working from home is the best scenario for our family.

With chemotherapy done, Karen is looking at her options now. We home school 11 year old Shelby - which has been a real joy - but Karen is very anxious to get back into window treatment design on a part time basis. She continues to investigate the possibilities.

We need much prayer right now for our 7th grade daughter Kylie. This is a hard age, as you're all aware. Add to this the stress of her mother's situation and our economic concerns over the last few months in addition to just being in 7th grade.....

Humor is important to have when dealing with something like cancer and I have a story to share with you from last week. Karen fixed a beef stew recipe from a cookbook I bought her early in the cancer struggle called "The New American Plate Cookbook". It is a cookbook with many recipes rich with antioxidants (necessary for fighting the beast). Near the end of the meal, I found a hair in the stew. I pull it up and show it to Karen with a quizzical stare. She takes off her scarf to reveal a bald head and says "Don't blame me!".

We go to Kansas City tomorrow to see Karen's extended family, most of whom haven't seen her since the diagnosis. It's hard to see her mother, who has dementia so bad she will probably not remember us.

God's love to all of you today!

Chemo is over...now, the vigil

Hi everyone: Last Thursday Karen did her final chemotherapy treatment. Saturday and Sunday were spent inside with excruciating joint pain (especially in the legs) and disrupted sleep. She is not due to return to the doctor until the end of February, and then the vigil begins.

In the last blog I mentioned that her CA125 - the measurement of protein that reacts to ovarian cancer - was down even further, which of course is good news. This test will be the standard of measure from here on out. We will much more earnestly pursue the no-sugar diet we began in November - Christmas somewhat got in the way, as you can imagine - and we've both started drinking Xango, a mangosteen juice that has been proven to help with inflammation. I take this for recurrent headaches, which have since disappeared...and I don't yawn anymore, even after I have only slept a few hours. If you want more information about this let me know: soulwise@msn.com.

Last Friday we received a beautiful goodie basket from my sister Marilyn Beyer and her team at Kemper Insurance in Jacksonville, FL. The girls and I immediately gravitated to Season One of "The Office" and Karen went right for the dark chocolate! :) Thank you to them! Karen and I continue to write Thank-you acknowledgements from the benefit as well as for the many gifts given to us through this whole ordeal.

Prayer is still needed as we approach the "now what" question in our lives. I'm still waiting to hear from an out of state company about a position that would be ideal for me that nobody else has interviewed for. Please keep this situation in prayer. Resolution of this would ease Karen's mind and make her life easier. She talks about going back to work, but I believe she needs to rest and focus on herself - something she doesn't like to do. Of course, Kylie and Shelby are both at challenging ages (12 and 11) and dealing with this at this crossroads in life is challenging. In the meantime I continue working at Allianz and just focus on the day by day.

Keep watching this space and we love e-mails and posts to this site - they keep us encouraged.

Good news today

Karen went to the doctor this morning in advance of the final chemotherapy treatment on Thursday. Her blood work in January showed a further decline in the CA125 test. In December it was at a 6. Now it is down to a 5. This is one more indication that treatment has been working. It's also an indication that your prayers for healing are being answered.

We're still caught up in the afterglow of the benefit on the 27th. What a blessing it was! We are in the process of acknowledging and thanking everyone who attended or made a donation.

In the meantime, please pray for us. We are in search of direction for our future. There are a number of factors at play here that I won't take the time to get into here, but God knows what they are. Just keep this in prayer and continue to watch this space...and thank you all for your persistent prayers, the encouraging e-mails, the phone calls, just for being there for us.

A great time!

To those of you who attended the benefit last night, THANK YOU! Karen and I so appreciated the genuine concern you have shown for us. Plus the food was great too - special thanks to Doris at Chateau Lamothe for making her entire restaurant and bar area available to us. Of course, Joe and Nicole Sanders did so much to make this happen. There was an abundance of silent auction items and raffle prizes which came from the other parents at Mauri's School of Dance, the Sanders' BNI group, the Minnesota Ovarian Cancer Alliance, and many others.

Karen and I both feel an indebtedness to all of you we can't possibly repay. As I expressed this to one dear friend last night, he told me you will repay by fighting this disease with everything you have. Last night reminded us that we do not fight this alone. We are constantly lifted up by the prayers of so many.

The battle against ovarian cancer is far from over. Karen has one more chemotherapy treatment on Thursday the 8th. The question she asks right now is, what next? After this is over, does she work again? And of course we continue to seek healing, which we believe will happen. It's recurrence of this cancer which is most common, statistically speaking, and that is a battle we'll be waging the rest of our lives. With friends like all who attended last night, our families, and our faith, we have the strength and will to do it.

Keep watching this blog for the latest news and I was pleased to hear last night just how many have been reading this. :)

Update on Karen's next-to-last chemotherapy treatment

Last Thursday the 17th Karen went in for the fifth round of chemotherapy. She spent much of Sunday and Monday very tired and lacking energy. Just as she's coming out of this, now she's caught a cold. Keep her in prayer - a cold is hard to shake off when your immune system is already vulnerable during chemotherapy.

Please let Nicole Sanders or myself know if you'll be attending the benefit next Sunday so we can get a "head count" to Chateau Lamothe in Burnsville. Nicole can be reached at nsanders@mailnparcelplus.com and I at soulwise@msn.com.

Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers during these trying times. This morning I read Psalm 9:10 which encouraged me and I'll pass it on here: "Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you."

BENEFIT INFORMATION

Benefit for Karen Jacobsen
January 27th, 2008

5:00pm

at
The Chateau LaMothe, Burnsville, MN
14351 Nicollet CourtBurnsville, MN 55306
www.ChateauLamotheEvents.com

Silent Auction ~ Cash Bar ~ Hor’dourves
Proceeds will go for Karen’s medical costs
To fight ovarian cancer.
http://karenjacobsen.blogspot.com

Preorder Tickets by calling Nicole Sanders
(612) 202-6443 $40.00

You can also contact me, John Jacobsen, at soulwise@msn.com

To our many friends and family who have been asking about how we're doing, we are being graciously sustained. Your response in gifts and kindness during this transition in our lives has helped us through.

By way of an update, Karen returns for the fifth round of chemotherapy next Thursday the 17th. Her final treatment will be on February 8. There has been some discussion of putting her on an experimental chemotherapy "maintenance" program, which keeps her on a low dose of chemotherapy for a six month period, but she and I are leaning against this. We want our lives back - and Karen wants her hair back - and there are non-chemotherapy ways to keep cancer away.

We are looking very forward to the 27th. If you have any questions, please e-mail me or give Nicole Sanders a call - her number is above. God bless!

Happy New Year - and prayer for material needs

2008 is here - Happy New Year to you all! We spent New Year's Eve with our close friends Joe and Nicole Sanders and their children, eating pizza and watching The Poseidon Adventure - is there any other movie that depicts a New Year's party gone bad like this one does?

We start 2008 with gratitude for all that has been given us in the last four months. We've realized we are not alone up here in Minnesota but that we have many who love and care for us just like family. If anything good has come out of the ovarian cancer experience, it has been that.

We need prayer for an income gap we're facing right now. I started a position at Allianz a few weeks back but it was the training phase. The start date is Jan 7 but I will not see a check until Jan 18. We don't know what we will live on between now and then. God has provided for us before and will provide again; this we know. Please keep us in your prayers.

Karen has been feeling good, given the circumstances. Her reaction to chemotherapy is mostly tiredness and fatigue with some joint pain. Her emotional state hasn't been as healthy, as she worries a great deal about my work. I'm still doing real estate, but any income from that in the current market is a plesant surprise. She talked yesterday of stopping her treatments (she's four rounds into a six round regimen) to work. As you can imagine she needs prayer for her peace of mind. As do I, many times.

We've also discussed giving concerts and recording again if God should allow that. The concerts will probably resume in the spring, once Karen has at least some hair back. God willing on the 27th fundraiser we may sing a song or two.

Again, in the midst of turmoil, we know we are blessed. Thank you.